A while back, we were at a restaurant celebrating Clover’s birthday. We were eating and talking, and she turned to me and asked, “I see Lenya?” She was referring to my necklace that I wear often. It’s a locket with a lion on it that the girls call my “Lenya-lion” necklace, and Clover and Daisy will often ask to see Lenya’s picture inside it.
This time was different because Clover had recently started talking more, and after I opened the locket, she said very clearly to me (with her two year-old accent):
“I love you Lenya. I miss you. I want to snuggle you. You’re wonderful. You’re beautiful.” And she shut the locket and continued eating her food.
I immediately began to cry, and I couldn’t hold it back. I couldn’t stop thinking how Clover will never know Lenya on this earth. Lenya got to hold and know and see Clover for her first eleven months, but it wouldn’t be the same for Clover. It made me so sad that she would only know Lenya through pictures and videos and the memories we’ll always tell.
Although it’s been almost 16 months, there have still been days and moments of deep sadness. We miss Lenya so much and the pain of it all is still so great, BUT Jesus Christ already defeated this pain. He conquered the stench of death and death itself, and His light cuts through the darkness of the grave.
Although sometimes we feel so helpless, what we can do is keep our hearts and lives bent toward Heaven. We will teach our girls to remember how short our lives are and how real eternity is, and continue to reach out to others while we still can, while we still have breath in our lungs, while it is still day. Like Jesus said:
“We must work the works of Him who sent Me and be busy with His business while it is daylight; night is coming on, when no man can work.” John 9:4