mrs-lusko

The Greater Thing

Seven days before Lenya went to heaven…

I was reading a few books, one being Greater by Pastor Steven Furtick.  As I look back, I see how God was preparing my frail little heart for the worst experience of my life. These were a few quotes that I wrote in my journal and am so thankful for:

“Yes God, I will follow You wholeheartedly into the greater thing you’re calling me to. Whatever it looks like.”

“Your greatest limitation is God’s greatest opportunity.”

And the second book I was reading was Balance by Richard A. Swenson, in which he talks about margin and balance in our lives and one quote I wrote down was:

“we had better love with abandon, for what’s around the corner is not ours to know.”

It has been 9  months since Lenya took her last breath in her Daddy’s arms and her first breath in her heavenly Father’s presence, and as painful as it is to look back in my journals from before Lenya went to heaven, I’m also so incredibly grateful to my God who is so good and loves me so much, to almost ready my heart for what lay ahead. Her death was still sudden, shocking, and terrible, but I see His presence and His love all over the valley of the shadow of death.

Who knew that the “greater thing” in my life would look like this? God did. And He hasn’t left me to figure it out on my own, He’s with me. He strengthens my arms for battle, and He has a plan and purpose in the pain. AND He is good.

“Do not be afraid of sudden terror, nor of trouble from the wicked when it comes; For the Lord will be your confidence, and will keep your foot from being caught.”

Proverbs 3:25-26

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  • Kelli McLean

    What a precious picture, Jennie! It brings a tear to my eye but a smile to my face. I am so honored to be able to see how the Lord is building your faith through all of this (and ours as well) and how much her life has changed many hearts. It’s true we can never know what is around the corner but we know that He is our rampart and our strength.
    You’re always in my heart and prayers. Love you, Kelli

    • jennie lusko

      I love you Kelli!

      • Kelli McLean

        <3 🙂

  • http://www.plansofhope.wordpress.com/ Misty Foster

    Thank you so much for the reminder that in the midst of heartbreak and the worst times of life in this world, there is something greater coming. I hold steadfastly to that promise in this season. Praying for you always.

    • jennie lusko

      Thank you Misty 🙂 So much love to you!

  • Tiffany Rondomanski

    My cousin, Kelly Clark, has shared your blog with me. Six weeks and one day ago, the worst thing in the world happened to us. We lost our six week old baby boy, Silas, unexpectedly. I always thought I would be the most bitter person in the world if I lost a child, but God held me in His hand and showed me all the blessings, and my love for my son was all-consuming, even in all my grief and sorrow.

    I love the second quote you shared: “we had better love with abandon, for what’s around the corner is not ours to know.” The day after Silas went to heaven, I said that I had no regrets during those short six weeks. I loved him completely and enjoyed every single moment with him. What a blessing. What a gift. Only something an all-knowing God could orchestrate.

    Kelly may have already shared our story, but if not, it’s at http://www.raisingthebarrs.com/2013/08/silas

    Thank you for your posts.

    • jennie lusko

      Thank you so much for sharing your heart Tiffany, and I’m so sorry for what you’ve had to experience. It’s amazing how God can use such deep pain to draw us closer to HIm. My husband and I were saying today how it’s such a hard thing as time passes because we feel like we’re getting further from Lenya, but the opposite is true, we’re getting closer to the day we’ll see her and you’ll be with Silas! All I know is the reunion is heaven is going to be incredibly sweet for SO many reasons. So much love to you, and I’m praying for your sweet mother’s heart as you continue to walk these waters of grief by faith.
      I will absolutely read your story, thank you for sharing that too.

      • Tiffany Rondomanski

        I have been grieving that the space is growing between now and the last time I held him. Thank you for the positive spin. I no longer fear dying one day. My six week old baby taught me not to fear death. I pray my time on earth is very long for my other two children because I know they need me in this crazy world, and I know Silas is safe. But, that day will be filled with sweetness, not fear. Praying for you and yours, also.

  • Rose Ann Schultz

    Your Faith Inspires Me. I Trust You Jesus

  • Erika_Rodgers

    I’ve never met you. I grew up in Montana, but live on the east coast now – many of my family members and friends attend Fresh Life. Ever since Lenya passed away, I have had many people tell me to contact you. I never really knew how, or when. I’ve been keeping up to date with you on Instagram and your blog. My heart is with you all. I have a healthy vibrant 5 year old son. I lost two daughters. One in 2011 – full term, but born with some difficulties. Lived 4 months before passing away. 18 months later our 10 week old healthy baby girl was suddenly diagnosed with a fatal cardiac condition. She lived until she was 5 months old, passed away in August of 2012. While our stories are different, I can understand the longing… the longing for heaven… the hope we have… the promise of seeing our precious loved ones again. While grateful for their eternal healing, we deeply ache here on earth while we’re separated from them. All of your blog posts have been encouraging in various ways – but this one tugged at my heart differently for some reason. It is so encouraging to witness God work, and see His plan unfold, amidst our pain and grief. It’s encouraging to know He is working through us while He is mending our broken hearts as well. He truly does strengthen us for whatever we will face…the battles have been fierce, but He is greater. Grateful for His comfort and peace. Thank you for sharing your heart with us. I pray for you often.

    • jennie lusko

      Thank you so much for writing Erika. Thank you for sharing your heart and what you have endured these past few years. I am so sorry for all this pain you and your family have had to experience. It just hurts so deeply, the pain, the hurt, the longing, the groaning, the aching. There are some dark, deep moments when it’s so hard to breathe, and it’s in those when it’s hardest to take heart and see with the eyes of faith. And what you said is so true, God is working in the pain. He can put to use what He allows us to go through. Something that my husband has said in his messages is that God entrusts us with trials. And I feel like this is something He’s been really opening my eyes to. The honor of suffering, which can just sound strange, but it’s so true! Well, sweet Erika, we are in a group that we would never want to be in, but I’m praying right now for you, for continued, daily strength and courage, that you would “watch, stand fast in the faith, be brave, be strong; let all that you do be done with love.” (1 Corinthians 16:13-14) so much love in Christ to you.

  • Erika_Rodgers

    I’ve never met you. I grew up in Montana, but live on the east coast now – many of my family members and friends attend Fresh Life. Ever since Lenya passed away, I have had many people tell me to contact you. I never really knew how, or when. I’ve been keeping up to date with you on Instagram and your blog. My heart is with you all. I have a healthy vibrant 5 year old son. I lost two daughters. One in 2011 – full term, but born with some difficulties. Lived 4 months before passing away. 18 months later our 10 week old healthy baby girl was suddenly diagnosed with a fatal cardiac condition. She lived until she was 5 months old, passed away in August of 2012. While our stories are different, I can understand the longing… the longing for heaven… the hope we have… the promise of seeing our precious loved ones again. While grateful for their eternal healing, we deeply ache here on earth while we’re separated from them. All of your blog posts have been encouraging in different ways – but this one tugged at my heart differently. It is so encouraging to witness God work, and see His plan unfold, amidst our pain and grief. It’s encouraging to know He is working through us while He is mending our broken hearts as well. He truly does strengthen us for whatever we will face…the battles have been fierce, but He is greater. Grateful for His comfort and peace. Thank you for sharing your heart with us. I pray for you often.

  • jennie lusko

    love you guys!

  • jennie lusko

    thank you Erin 🙂 God is just so good to remind us of those deep rich things! so much love to you!