I don’t know for certain, but it seems that heaven is on a different time table than what we’re experiencing now. I don’t know if for Lenya she’s been in heaven for eight months, but for us she has, and it’s been way too long since I’ve held her, snuggled her, heard her voice, held her hand, read to her, sang with her, danced with her, watched her be so sweet and silly with her sisters, watch her look up adoringly at her daddy.
The pain is still very much unbearable and some times more than others. But my husband and I have realized that although the pain is still very deep and real and in our faces every single day, God, in His grace, in His perfect love seems to be strengthening us in it.
We recently went on our yearly family camping trip, and while it was really difficult as it was our first without Lenya, I loved the constant reminder that this life is a camping trip, and we’ll be heading home soon and very soon. The things God taught me through our Breaking Camp series continues to help my focus every day.
Eight months may seem like forever, but our lives are a vapor, here one moment, gone the next. Although it seems as if we’re getting further and further from her, we’re actually getting closer and closer to the day we will see her and our Savior face to face. I think of the reunion on that Day every single day. Yearning, aching, seeing through the eyes of faith. I need this comforting reminder every day:
“For the Lord Himself will descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of an archangel, and with the trumpet of God. And the dead in Christ will rise first. Then we who are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And thus we will always be with the Lord. Therefore comfort one another with these words.”
1 Thessalonians 4:16-18
“three things I miss about Lenya: 1) her laugh 2) her being downstairs when I would wake up in the morning 3) playing with her.” – Livie (7 years old)
“I love Lenya. She’s in heaven with Jesus and God.” – Daisy (3 years old)